Practicalmadness

Tonight I had a woman come over to me at primary bar and say that
she had a problem with her cappuccino. "What is the problem?" he
asked genially.
"This drink was half foam!"
"Well, ma'am, yes, a cappuccino is half foam."
"I always order this drink, but it's never like this..."

She showed me her cup, now emptied of foam and left only
half-full of coffee and milk. "Well, ma'am," he said, "I don't know
what to tell you. That's the recipe. If you'd like me to make you
another one I'll be happy to..."

She walked off.

Later in the evening a woman whose command of the English
language consisted solely of " two small iced white chocolate
mocha" and "refund!" found out we had run out of white mocha. We
gave her iced caramel machs instead, then she realized she had paid
us more than the cost of the machs.

This was probably the most reasonable demand by a customer on a
night featuring a man who brought in a coupon for a "free cup of
coffee" and asked to speak to my manager when I wouldn't honor it.
It was a manufacturer's coupon issued by Philip Morris, and from
the typefaces and colors it seemed to probably have come from a
pack of Marlboros. It had a barcode. A supermarket might have taken
it.

"I'm sorry, sir," he said, "I can't accept this."
"I see. Is that the company's policy or is this your policy?"

Carillo, the assistant manager, was standing beside me. "It's my
policy," I said. "Can I speak to a manager?" said the man. "I'm the
manager," said Carillo, "and we can't accept this."

If the conversation had gone on longer, I would have added:
"Sir, it is not Starbucks' policy to accept any coupons not issued
by Starbucks Coffee. If you would like to speak to our general
manager, his name is Aaron and he will be in tomorrow morning. He
will laugh in your face, but he will be here."

The gentleman took the coupon back, placed it in his wallet,
paid for his coffee and walked away with a bemused smile.