Practicalmadness

Well, the day we have all dreaded and hoped for since last January is finally here, as The President of the United States has announced that he will invoke the 25th Amendment, transferring executive authority to Vice President Cheney during a certain uncomfortable medical procedure some time this weekend. This sounds much more serious than it really is.

Following such successful celebrity food ventures as Planet Hollywood, the Fashion Cafe and All-Star Cafe, Britney Spears has opened a restaurant. "Donning a super sexy scoop-neck black mini-dress," writes the NY Daily News, "Spears announced proudly last night [that] she planned to dine on 'fried chicken'." The newspaper goes on to report that Spears was chewing 'gum' and breathing something called 'air'.

More on this story: • Britney's Eats to N.Y. Beat (NY Daily News) • At Her Eatery, a Britney Sighting Is Not on the Menu (Newsday) • Britney Spears' NYC restaurant opening (CNN.com)

Reports of the averting of the inevitable crash, burn and catastrophic failure of Amtrak are perhaps greatly exaggerated.

And finally, there are vague, probably untrue rumors that one of the most controversial kiddie cartoons in history may yet be returning to TV.