Seven of nine women...oh, skip it
- Thu Jun 24 2004
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You know, before all this delicious scandal about investment banker/Senate candidate Jack Ryan taking his ex-wife, TV actress Jeri Ryan (who played cyborg hottie Seven of Nine on Star Trek: Voyager) to sex clubs hit the news, I had one of his campaign signs stowed away. Not because I’m a closet Republican, but rather because there were so many Tom Clancy jokes to be made.Then I got busy, and got bored, and really, none of those jokes were any good, since nobody cares about the Senate in Illinois except people who, unlike myself, care that they live there. But now I’m wishing and hoping I kept it, because it has just been promoted from really stupid campaign relic to really stupid C-list pop culture relic.
But wait! There is even more irony to be had here!
On June 21st, Ryan found himself campaigning in downstate Mt. Vernon, where the Republican nominee lashed out at his opponent, characterizing [Democratic candidate Barack Obama] as being “out of the mainstream of Illinois values” (even though Ryan’s campaign has already copped to having Obama stalked.)
“Out of the mainstream of Illinois values” is a euphemism here for “intelligent black man,” which I guess makes sense to a man for whom “romantic getaway” means “have sex with me on a dirty mattress while other people watch.”
Still, there is a bittersweet aspect to all of this: with Ryan’s prospects pretty much flamed, Bizarro World, IL may never again put forth another of its citizens to represent this great state in the U.S. Senate. Won’t someone please think about the Bizarro World???