Practicalmadness

I had what is possibly the strangest CTA touchpad, indicating that all I need to do to board is to flash my card since there’s no way to charge me for the ride. So I do so with the well-practiced, offhand ID-flashing gesture perfected over five years getting into and out of SAIC buildings, and do so without looking up or missing a step to the closest empty seat.

Then, over the bus PA system, the bus driver (a middle-aged black woman) said

Attention, customers! Remember that when the Chicago Card touchpad is out of order you can just show your Chicago Card to the operator. There is no need to be rude to the operator while doing so. Thank you. This is Leavitt.

What did I do?? I’m the only one who didn’t find themselves stuck fumbling for change or a Transit Card at the front of the bus, so she’s obviously talking to me. Was I supposed to stop, show her my card, smile and thank her for being such a conscientious (and beautiful and charming) bus driver when it’s 8:05, the bus is several minutes late and I’m worried about making it to my job? And why did she need to say that it’s Leavitt? The robot voice does that.

Regardless, while my bubble of self-importance was momentarily burst, that was the only unusual thing…until we hit Hoyne and she came over the speaker again to announce the stop. Again, there is no reason for her to do so, since the CTA has installed its now-familiar Robot Voice to announce stops on bus lines. For example, when the bus detects that it’s at Damen Avenue (using some combination of GPS satellites and evil powers), the Robot Voice announces:

Damen!

And when it gets to Milwaukee, where one can transfer to a Blue Line train, it announces:

Milwaukee! Transfer! To! Blue Line!

And so it is extremely unusual for a CTA bus operator to come over the PA every few seconds to announce (e.g.):

This is Damen Avenue. Transfer here for the #50 Damen bus.

Yes, it’s really nice and helpful. Yes, it’s great that a bus driver goes above and beyond the call of duty to tell people when to transfer to major bus lines like Damen or Halsted. But she works for the city! It’s not normal!!!

Of course, in terms of commuting strangeness, nothing quite tops or even matches the time an old man at the back of the bus was chanting something about anally raping the Virgin Mary all the way from Fullerton Avenue to the Loop. But for the purposes of this morning, it was surreal enough.